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Posts by
mariav
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Trading jokes
in
General
Nov 03, 2014 at 08:15
Q: What’s the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying stocks?A: In the first case, you help finance the local community swimming pool. In the second case you help finance your stockbroker’s home swimming pool.
Trading jokes
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Nov 03, 2014 at 08:14
Today’s Stock Market ReportHelium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply.Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points.Hiking equipment was trailing.Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.Weights were up in heavy trading.Light switches were off.Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged.Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.The market for raisins dried up.Coca Cola fizzled.Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.Sun peaked at midday.Balloon prices were inflated.S...
Trading jokes
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Nov 03, 2014 at 08:14
http://www.myfxbook.com/files/mariav/20120228_E5.gif
Trading jokes
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Nov 03, 2014 at 08:13
Q: What’s the easiest way to make a small fortune with binary options?A: Start with a large fortune.
Trading jokes
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Nov 03, 2014 at 08:13
Stockbroker: What is a million years like to you?God: Like one second.Stockbroker: What is a million dollars like to you?God: Like one penny.Stockbroker: Can I have a penny?God: Just a second …
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:47
From a trader: “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:46
THE CHANGING FACE OF CAPITALISMTRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:* You have two cows.* You sell one and buy a bull.* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.* You sell them and retire on the income.AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enro-capitalism):* You have two cows.* You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island...
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:46
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979." "You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly. "No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:45
A beautiful woman entered a bar and sat next to a lawyer. "Listen honey," she said, "For $50, I'll do absolutely anything you want."The lawyer pulled fifty dollars from his wallet and said, "Paint my house."
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:44
A woman returns to her car after shopping and is furious to find the side of her car is smashed in. On the windshield is a note. Relieved she picks it up and reads what it says: "As I’m writing this a bunch of people are watching me. They think I’m writing down my name, number and insurance information. But I’m not."
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:44
Meaning of... 'potentially' and 'realistically'A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."So the boy went to his mother and asked, "...
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:41
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman."What a crummy deal!" the man complained. "I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman."An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
Trading jokes
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:40
Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready. "I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory. We are very sorry, but it's the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others" he is told by the doorman. Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss. So the doorman leads him to the dorm. They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants. "See, Here is your first room mate. He has an IQ of 180!""Why that's wonderful!" Says Albert. &qu...
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Oct 14, 2014 at 06:38
How much money do you need?"What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more".(Will Rogers)"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars".(J. Paul Getty)"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money". (Everett Dirksen)
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
An Economist is an Expert, who will know tomorrow, why thinks he predict yesterday, didn't happen today.
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
Markets are crazy, every moment one guy buy, second sell and both think that they will make money.
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
http://www.myfxbook.com/files/mariav/deal_with_it_funny_forex_trader_tshirtr675edb628ccc4f8abe6d8a0a7b603388_8naxt_324.jpg
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
http://www.myfxbook.com/files/mariav/Forexfunnyforexlosser.jpg
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
http://www.myfxbook.com/files/mariav/ForexWithdraw.jpg
Trading jokes
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Oct 07, 2014 at 07:00
A long time ago, a visitor from out of town came to a tour in Manhattan. At the end of the tour they took him to the financial district. When they arrived to Battery Park the guide showed him some nice yachts anchoring there, and said, "Here are the yachts of our bankers and stockbrokers." "And where are the yachts of the investors?" asked the naive visitor.
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